Showing posts with label Personal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Personal. Show all posts

Sunday, November 2, 2014

Being Happy when I have a Million Reasons Not to Be




 



There two cousins that I get along with the most: Sean and Ridge. If it is bad it has happened to us. Between the three of us there has been several shot wounds, self mutilation, 179 bones broke, a child murdered, told unable to have children, abused, we have all had our parents killed, and we have had all our share of relationship trouble.

One thing that the three of us pride ourselves on (and warning this may offend some) not a single one of us take a single pill to keep us in high spirits. Ridge has watched her twin get tortured, lost her for four years, had a child get murdered, went through a miscarriage, she has had hot grease poured down her throat, has has been stabbed and cut herself. Does she take a depression pill? Nope.

I have lost my entire my family. My dad ran off. My dad got me shot. Granted I jumped in front of him but I did. I watched him give himself over to drugs. I watch my grandparents get done wrong by my dad and his brother. I watched my aunt die. I watched my uncle get killed doing what my dad did. I am watching my grandma give up on life instead of fighting because she is scared to be alone. The woman who once told me I was never alone as long as I had God. Don't become a hypocrite.

Sean fell from a five storie building breaking every bone in his body almost. He watched everything thing that Ridge went through. He had to deal with the fact that his baby brother wasn't following a great path. He watched his sisters make irresponsible decision and people blame because he was the man of the house since my uncle skip town. People blame for leaving them to deal with their own problems.

The reason people shake their heads at us? We are happy without pills. Do we get high off something else? Sort of but we don't smoke. Well Sean sometimes smokes a cigar but his wife would kill him right now if he did more that. Trust me the three of us are very dangerous when you get us all going against the same thing. We have this thing called happiness that we find all situation.

We do not like to be labeled a victim. We hate it with a great passion in fact because that means pity. In the words of Eckhart Tolle:
When you complain, you make yourself the victim. Leave the situation, change the situation, or accept it.
We talk situation out, leave, change it or many times accept it.

The three of us are good about moving on, because that's what we have done all of our lives. So how do we stay happy? Twelve simple things.

 1. We express gratitude for what we have. Seriously the number one thing that we are all certain give gratitude for is the family we have. We have a lot to be thankful for in our lives. If we aren't thankful for what we already have, will have a hard time ever being happy.

2. Cultivate Optimism is something we have. We see our lives full of endless opportunities especially in trying times. Heck Sean and I have made several ways to help our situation right now.

3. Learning to forgive is something we actually have to work on daily. We still work on it. Many times we learn to feel nothing towards these people which is in fact worse.

4. We got for smart thrills in our lives. Sure we don't always make the best decisions but we seek enough to get our hearts pounding and making a situation better (sometimes) and of course we protect our family like nobody's business.

5. We live in the now instead of the past. People are happier when engaged in what they are doing as compared to when they lack concentration. From research, it has been discovered that people spend as much as 45% of their working hours in mind wondering.

6. We are very sure ourselves. We think it might be a McLachlan. We get very sure of ourselves when you tick us off or dare us or threaten us. When a person doubts their judgement, they are prone to a variety of psychological challenges like low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, and mood swings. Not us.

7. We move every day. When you are happy, there is a higher possibility that you will engage in activities that promotes your health. Findings from a recent study performed by the American Psychological Association reveals that depression across all ages is significantly reduced by exercise. Trust me I can over do it easily because throwing heavy metal up and down gets me get the bad energy out of me.

8. We surround ourselves with people who are happy also. It took me a long time to learn the significance of this. But I can say it is very true. You have to surround yourselves with people who believe in you.

9. We do act of kindness. A pet peeve of mine is people who don't open doors. I don't care if it is another guy opening the door behind me I will hold it open. Kindness spreads kindness. Talking about kindness doesn't.

10. Sleep is something we all enjoy. We savor it for all it's glory but is that all we do? Oh no! We have lives. We move we get out. We just grin when people say sit down. You won't see us sit until around 9 PM because we have grown our bodies to accustom to that.

11. We have faith. Sure if you don't believe in God go ahead and mediate on something else. I am not holding a gun to your head and telling to believe in God. We have our faith in God. We use the strengths and abilities that God gave us.

12. We don't over think and we create flow situation. We get really into what we are doing that we don't notice the outside world. We don't over think things either. We are straight cut people.

This is how we still grin without doing something self destruction. Ridge laughs when people ask if she on a lot of medication. Sean will flip you off. I just shake my head no. We have God and each other.

Thursday, October 30, 2014

When I was Younger


Me at 13

Random Facts About My Self-Past


  • Taking dance lesson was something I started doing at 3 years old.
  • Playing the guitar was something that I took up at 6.
  • Dance competition was something that I enjoyed.
  • I can also play the piano and the saxophone, but only some saxophone.
  • One of my painting sold for $315 once. It was a painting of my mom.
  • Sewing is something I can do but I am not a fan of it. I am a pro at threading a needle, though.
  • I do like working with wax. I was probably a rare kid for my mom because I was extremely excited when I got a candle making kit. 
  • I have model for different companies in the past.

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

It's Always Under 90

I have recently been diagnosed with low blood sugar. For me it was another blow to my health that was already in a bad situation since my iron is low as well. It was like I was destined to be tired all the time.

But I was determined to not let it get control of my whole life. I had been have working out twice as hard. My latest appointment with my physician basically told me I was making it worse on myself. I asked if it would be acceptable to get a personal trainer so I could stay fit.

So I am pouring over recommendations and I find one that was recommended from my doctor. My doctor wanted to see me work out. He told me to work out as hard as I possibly could. My numbers were off the chart for the first time in my life. I was lifting weights like I never had and running until my legs were numb and I ran even harder after that. I was in so much pain at the end. My doctor told me never to do that again that I had got that out of my system.

That has really helped me. I feel like it was what I needed. It therapeutic in several ways. I put all my anxiety and anger into that work out. I am now working out a decent pace, and it has really helped to balance out my life easier now. I think once you push 300 lbs off of your chest over 15 times without hesitation you feel like you are the hulk.

I am still trying to get in complete balance and that may take some time. I'm okay with that though. It's something I have to work up to like benching 300 lbs. Stamina is something I love and I find it in everything I do. I intend to do the same with my health. I refuse to give up or give in.


Sunday, August 24, 2014

The Truth

"I didn't want to add more stress." "I didn't want to make you worry more." "I didn't want you to see me like that."

If I can't handle you at your worst how do you know you can handle you at best? This is something that even myself I have a hard time dealing with in a relationship. It's one of those things that people really start to realize once the honeymoon effect as worn off. You see the person's warts and you start wondering if you didn't make mistake.

Learning to let go of myself and just be a regular guy is hard but nobody is a gentleman all the time. That's only in books. Face Mr. Darcy had to go bathroom at some point. It's not fancy or glamorous but it's a fact.

Why hide the fact that you are human? I have two people in my life that if you read their Facebook you see two people that are just perfect. Reading their blogs? They show you their real selves proving that they aren't perfect. They didn't tell the world that they showed each other their warts but they knew and it was enough for them. They are happy and I can see them lasting well into their eighties without hardly an argument.

Just be yourself with the person you love because if you really love them then you are going to show that you don't smell like pineapple mango in the bathroom (the spray does but you don't), you clip your toenails in the bed, you have an obsession with watching the stock channel just so you see your initials go across the screen, that you keep locks from each haircut you get, or that you refuse to drink from a cup that doesn't have a lid.


Sunday, August 10, 2014

The Man in the Mirror

Confession Time:







I am major clown...

I get ready in the morning while dancing around in front of my mirror.

Gavin Degraw
Miley Cyrus
Queen
The Supremes
NSYNC
Rihanna

I crank up the volume and away my hips and feet move. It's not just a little shake here and there. It's head banging. It's moving my hips like Beyonce. It's swinging around like Usher. It's moon walking like Michael Jackson.

I have even been known to slap my butt to watch it jiggle in the mirror. It's bouncing my pecks to the music while I do my hair. It's going completely old school preteen girl using my comb as a microphone singing Beautiful Girls by Sean Kingston.

So many people think I am a morning person, I am really not. Don't believe me? Try talking to me before my coffee and shower. It is a not a pretty picture. I growl, bite, and kick. Music, water, and coffee make my mornings.

Saturday, August 9, 2014

Allow Me To Introduce You To Myself




I am Nathaniel, +Jessica's boyfriend. Otherwise known as her world. I am introducing myself because apparently adding you when you wouldn't add your best friend boyfriend. Pretty sure most do that. A true friend scopes out the guy.You know like Mary Ann did. She annoyed the crap out of  me and she was in Thailand. So don't give me crap that I didn't put for the effort when I was the one that added you. You had every opportunity to write to me. I took the first step.

And the crap about me being a stranger? Really I am Jessica's boyfriend the one you claimed as your best friend. Though I am questioning your ability to be a friend. If you ever really was a friend. Jessica says you were but to me it sounds like the classic I want someone around to make me look better and to say I have friends and someone around so I am not the loner. If that pisses you off, I don't really care. It's how you were acting. I wouldn't be a stranger if you had really listened to Jessica.

But wait that is right, you aren't interested in Jessica's relationship or life. You claim it's because of what was going on your life, ever given the thought that she had a lot going on too? She has also been helping me with things going on with me. Why should she include in her life when she is around you talk over her or shut down completely? There is no sense in that. None for a so called best friend to do.

Why don't just admit the truth? You wanted someone to make you feel better and not to be alone. You hate the idea of me and Jessica because she is getting what you want. And none of it is bought things. She is getting a guy willing to stand up for her and a daughter that is happy go lucky. Yes, I am financially secure but only now. You would have found that out if you had put forth the effort. Jessica has not bragged to me once. Okay jokingly but seriously? Jessica brag? It's like you are giving crackers to Cookie Monster... Do you even know her? And I like you how you get underwear in a knot because she has prior plans before you. Again back to my point of you using her just so you aren't alone.

Speaking of listening to her, if you really had listened to her you would know that Jessica and Odette talk but Odette has rarely mentioned a wedding to Jessica. The person you are looking for is Mary Ann. Yeah her and Hunter talked about dresses some. But I am pretty sure you said you didn't approve of the wedding because it was too soon so you lied to Jessica the other day. That right there is a problem no one else has pointed out. You said it was too soon and therefor that's a big reason of why you weren't involved in the planning.

Oh and "those bitches" have nothing with you not being the maid of honor now. You don't deserve to be her maid of honor. You have proved to that to both of us. You aren't interested in our relationship and you put our relationship down too. I wouldn't let be that now if someone gave me a million dollars. See I am not all about money either. I love how you pick up on the money thing with all of us. Jealous much? Same reason with the girls and them having money. What the heck does that matter? Get to know them and it's not about the money.




I am letting all of this go now, but does that mean I am sweeping things under the rug? No it means that I am sweeping all of this into a garbage can and throwing it away with the rest of the trash. It won't be undo that way. It won't resurface.

Sunday, August 3, 2014

What's On My Mind?






... Jessica. Yes I know she is on my mind all the time. But I have big plans coming up and they had just better stick this time. She makes me happy when I was grumpy. Yes yes the usually lovey dovey stuff.

... Disney. Um yeah not going to lie Disney has warped my mind. I am trying to find unusual things we will need or may not need. I like the different stuff all the planning. Totally for my daughter, future wife and the Disney Queen.

... My nose. Yep I can no longer lay on my left side at night or I literally cannot breath. I woke up feeling like I had pompom balls in my head. It was bad and I went back to bed for awhile. Pretty sure it's time for the surgery I have been putting off.

... Books. I have a stack of books that keep piling high beside my bed. I have nonfiction, fiction, and devotions I want to read. However, when I get through reading my Bible in the mornings I usually have to run out the door to work.

... My Planner. Nice filofax. Pretty sure I have a boring life right now. I have been filing it in with different things though. Not sure if I am even using my planner right. Kind of sad.

... Vehicle. SUV, Car, Van, or Jeep? Um no van and no car. I want something bigger this time. Hm need to look into a good reliable vehicle.

... Phone. I am tired of using my jacked up phone. I have been borrowing my grandmother's or Bre's phone to take pictures unless I use my iPod. I need a phone. I want an iPhone. We will see.

... Furniture. I have bought some furniture for the new house. I have not bought it all. I have a lot of people donating furniture to me because they are updating or redecorating. (Not that I am not knocking getting free furniture but people can still afford to just up and redecorate their house?)

... Birchbox for Men. Is it worth the money? Will I like it? I need to watch unboxings on YouTube. I know I want Mantry.

Sunday, July 13, 2014

Mayhem Really Needs to Die



I really despise these commercials. I don't understand how this man has become as popular as Flo from Progressive. I want to really punch this guy a lot of the time.

  • The things he does are mayhem but to a dramatic level. Sure it could be true but at a highest level.
  • He is just annoying. 
  • Sometimes the things he does actually make no sense when he is talking in first person about someone else.
These are the things I hate about this commercial. This and the Godaddy.com commercial are my least favorite. I can watch tampon and Viagra commercials more than I can watch those.  

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Baby When the Light Go Out...

What would I do if all of the electricity in the world went out?

 First I would freak out. Technology is almost like a baby to me. I like to nourish it and find new things to do with it and how to fix things with it. 

Second, light some candles and start walking. I want all of my friends and family together and cars run on electricity (Or part atleast does) so we will be moving to get everyone together. 

Then I guess we go back to the early 1800s. Letters, lamps, gas, etc. 

Also may want to add a few extra hospitals because some people will go nuts without technology. I think I could possibly be able to adapt. I am not sure of that though. However, I do believe I would try to adapt. 

 

Saturday, June 14, 2014

Days of Lists: Score!







Sports that I play or have played in order of favorite to least favorite:

  • Disc Golf
  • Baseball
  • Football
  • Fencing
  • Lacrosse
  • Ultimate Frisbee
  • Swimming and diving
  • Beach volleyball
  • Wrestling
  • Taekwondo
  • Soccer
  • Men's basketball

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Old Man

For starters I actually read about Nicholas Flamel before HP. True story. So I was freaking out as a kid. Which leads me to what this blog is about. What Supernatural power would I have if I could choose.

I would never age and live forever. 



Eventually I would greet death like an old friend. You know, kind of like if I had an invisibility cloak.



The line between confidence and arrogance is very fine, Josh. And the line between arrogance and stupidity even finer.
— Nicholas Flammel - The Sorceress










Friday, June 6, 2014

Days of Lists: 99 Bottles of Beer On The Wall





I love a good road trip. However, I pack everything but the kitchen sink because I am terrified of being bored because I am not one for scenery outside the car. Driving scenery does nothing for me.

So things I have to have in my backpack:

  • Phone
  • Charger for phone
  • iPod
  • Charger for iPod
  • Kindle
  • Charger for Kindle
  • 2 Pillows - Travel pillow and regular pillow
  • A blanket
  • Beef jerky
  • Bottle drinks (I get seriously pissed when people bring cans on a road trip and then bitch when it explodes and it goes everywhere or it falls over.)
  • Notebook
  • Pens
  • Headphones
  • Snacks (Ritz bits with cheese)
  • Wipes 
  • Handsantizer
  • Quarters
  • Kleenex (Can also be used as toilet paper on the side of the road)
  • Socks (My feet will be warm and dry in any situation.)
  • Axe body spray (Can be used as air fresher when someone's lunch doesn't agree with them)
  • Sunglasses
  • Itinerary folder with addresses (otherwise what is the point of GPS) 

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Days of Lists: Daily







Rituals that I do most daily:

  •  Pray
  • Some kind of cardio work out. I mostly do running or jump rope.
  • Read my Bible.
  • Sip hot water with lemon. This detox my body and helps keep me from getting colds.
  • Try to help someone somehow
  • Enjoy something about the outside.
  • Make a grateful list each day
  • Look for something to learn