Being Happy when I have a Million Reasons Not to Be

 

There two cousins that I get along with the most: Sean and Ridge. If it is bad it has happened to us. Between the three of us there has been several shot wounds, self mutilation, 179 bones broke, a child murdered, told unable to have children, abused, we have all had our parents killed, and we have had all our share of relationship trouble.

One thing that the three of us pride ourselves on (and warning this may offend some) not a single one of us take a single pill to keep us in high spirits. Ridge has watched her twin get tortured, lost her for four years, had a child get murdered, went through a miscarriage, she has had hot grease poured down her throat, has has been stabbed and cut herself. Does she take a depression pill? Nope.

I have lost my entire my family. My dad ran off. My dad got me shot. Granted I jumped in front of him but I did. I watched him give himself over to drugs. I watch my grandparents get done wrong by my dad and his brother. I watched my aunt die. I watched my uncle get killed doing what my dad did. I am watching my grandma give up on life instead of fighting because she is scared to be alone. The woman who once told me I was never alone as long as I had God. Don't become a hypocrite.

Sean fell from a five storie building breaking every bone in his body almost. He watched everything thing that Ridge went through. He had to deal with the fact that his baby brother wasn't following a great path. He watched his sisters make irresponsible decision and people blame because he was the man of the house since my uncle skip town. People blame for leaving them to deal with their own problems.

The reason people shake their heads at us? We are happy without pills. Do we get high off something else? Sort of but we don't smoke. Well Sean sometimes smokes a cigar but his wife would kill him right now if he did more that. Trust me the three of us are very dangerous when you get us all going against the same thing. We have this thing called happiness that we find all situation.

We do not like to be labeled a victim. We hate it with a great passion in fact because that means pity. In the words of Eckhart Tolle:

When you complain, you make yourself the victim. Leave the situation, change the situation, or accept it.

We talk situation out, leave, change it or many times accept it.

The three of us are good about moving on, because that's what we have done all of our lives. So how do we stay happy? Twelve simple things.

 1. We express gratitude for what we have. Seriously the number one thing that we are all certain give gratitude for is the family we have. We have a lot to be thankful for in our lives. If we aren't thankful for what we already have, will have a hard time ever being happy.

2. Cultivate Optimism is something we have. We see our lives full of endless opportunities especially in trying times. Heck Sean and I have made several ways to help our situation right now.

3. Learning to forgive is something we actually have to work on daily. We still work on it. Many times we learn to feel nothing towards these people which is in fact worse.

4. We got for smart thrills in our lives. Sure we don't always make the best decisions but we seek enough to get our hearts pounding and making a situation better (sometimes) and of course we protect our family like nobody's business.

5. We live in the now instead of the past. People are happier when engaged in what they are doing as compared to when they lack concentration. From research, it has been discovered that people spend as much as 45% of their working hours in mind wondering.

6. We are very sure ourselves. We think it might be a McLachlan. We get very sure of ourselves when you tick us off or dare us or threaten us. When a person doubts their judgement, they are prone to a variety of psychological challenges like low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, and mood swings. Not us.

7. We move every day. When you are happy, there is a higher possibility that you will engage in activities that promotes your health. Findings from a recent study performed by the American Psychological Association reveals that depression across all ages is significantly reduced by exercise. Trust me I can over do it easily because throwing heavy metal up and down gets me get the bad energy out of me.

8. We surround ourselves with people who are happy also. It took me a long time to learn the significance of this. But I can say it is very true. You have to surround yourselves with people who believe in you.

9. We do act of kindness. A pet peeve of mine is people who don't open doors. I don't care if it is another guy opening the door behind me I will hold it open. Kindness spreads kindness. Talking about kindness doesn't.

10. Sleep is something we all enjoy. We savor it for all it's glory but is that all we do? Oh no! We have lives. We move we get out. We just grin when people say sit down. You won't see us sit until around 9 PM because we have grown our bodies to accustom to that.

11. We have faith. Sure if you don't believe in God go ahead and mediate on something else. I am not holding a gun to your head and telling to believe in God. We have our faith in God. We use the strengths and abilities that God gave us.

12. We don't over think and we create flow situation. We get really into what we are doing that we don't notice the outside world. We don't over think things either. We are straight cut people.

This is how we still grin without doing something self destruction. Ridge laughs when people ask if she on a lot of medication. Sean will flip you off. I just shake my head no. We have God and each other.