Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts

Sunday, November 2, 2014

Being Happy when I have a Million Reasons Not to Be




 



There two cousins that I get along with the most: Sean and Ridge. If it is bad it has happened to us. Between the three of us there has been several shot wounds, self mutilation, 179 bones broke, a child murdered, told unable to have children, abused, we have all had our parents killed, and we have had all our share of relationship trouble.

One thing that the three of us pride ourselves on (and warning this may offend some) not a single one of us take a single pill to keep us in high spirits. Ridge has watched her twin get tortured, lost her for four years, had a child get murdered, went through a miscarriage, she has had hot grease poured down her throat, has has been stabbed and cut herself. Does she take a depression pill? Nope.

I have lost my entire my family. My dad ran off. My dad got me shot. Granted I jumped in front of him but I did. I watched him give himself over to drugs. I watch my grandparents get done wrong by my dad and his brother. I watched my aunt die. I watched my uncle get killed doing what my dad did. I am watching my grandma give up on life instead of fighting because she is scared to be alone. The woman who once told me I was never alone as long as I had God. Don't become a hypocrite.

Sean fell from a five storie building breaking every bone in his body almost. He watched everything thing that Ridge went through. He had to deal with the fact that his baby brother wasn't following a great path. He watched his sisters make irresponsible decision and people blame because he was the man of the house since my uncle skip town. People blame for leaving them to deal with their own problems.

The reason people shake their heads at us? We are happy without pills. Do we get high off something else? Sort of but we don't smoke. Well Sean sometimes smokes a cigar but his wife would kill him right now if he did more that. Trust me the three of us are very dangerous when you get us all going against the same thing. We have this thing called happiness that we find all situation.

We do not like to be labeled a victim. We hate it with a great passion in fact because that means pity. In the words of Eckhart Tolle:
When you complain, you make yourself the victim. Leave the situation, change the situation, or accept it.
We talk situation out, leave, change it or many times accept it.

The three of us are good about moving on, because that's what we have done all of our lives. So how do we stay happy? Twelve simple things.

 1. We express gratitude for what we have. Seriously the number one thing that we are all certain give gratitude for is the family we have. We have a lot to be thankful for in our lives. If we aren't thankful for what we already have, will have a hard time ever being happy.

2. Cultivate Optimism is something we have. We see our lives full of endless opportunities especially in trying times. Heck Sean and I have made several ways to help our situation right now.

3. Learning to forgive is something we actually have to work on daily. We still work on it. Many times we learn to feel nothing towards these people which is in fact worse.

4. We got for smart thrills in our lives. Sure we don't always make the best decisions but we seek enough to get our hearts pounding and making a situation better (sometimes) and of course we protect our family like nobody's business.

5. We live in the now instead of the past. People are happier when engaged in what they are doing as compared to when they lack concentration. From research, it has been discovered that people spend as much as 45% of their working hours in mind wondering.

6. We are very sure ourselves. We think it might be a McLachlan. We get very sure of ourselves when you tick us off or dare us or threaten us. When a person doubts their judgement, they are prone to a variety of psychological challenges like low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, and mood swings. Not us.

7. We move every day. When you are happy, there is a higher possibility that you will engage in activities that promotes your health. Findings from a recent study performed by the American Psychological Association reveals that depression across all ages is significantly reduced by exercise. Trust me I can over do it easily because throwing heavy metal up and down gets me get the bad energy out of me.

8. We surround ourselves with people who are happy also. It took me a long time to learn the significance of this. But I can say it is very true. You have to surround yourselves with people who believe in you.

9. We do act of kindness. A pet peeve of mine is people who don't open doors. I don't care if it is another guy opening the door behind me I will hold it open. Kindness spreads kindness. Talking about kindness doesn't.

10. Sleep is something we all enjoy. We savor it for all it's glory but is that all we do? Oh no! We have lives. We move we get out. We just grin when people say sit down. You won't see us sit until around 9 PM because we have grown our bodies to accustom to that.

11. We have faith. Sure if you don't believe in God go ahead and mediate on something else. I am not holding a gun to your head and telling to believe in God. We have our faith in God. We use the strengths and abilities that God gave us.

12. We don't over think and we create flow situation. We get really into what we are doing that we don't notice the outside world. We don't over think things either. We are straight cut people.

This is how we still grin without doing something self destruction. Ridge laughs when people ask if she on a lot of medication. Sean will flip you off. I just shake my head no. We have God and each other.

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Days of Lists: Price Tag








  • Post-Flags
  • Pens
  • Post It Notes
  • Tape
  • A ruler
  • Messenger
  • Chipotle Pasta
  • Can Chicken ( +Carolina you have ruined me)
  • Sunscreen
  • Underwear
  • Business Cards
  • Bananas
  • New earphones
  • Binders
  • Dividers

Days of Lists: Things I Love About Jessica

No Joke This Time










  • Her weirdness... "Lightening bugs!"
  • She loves to read. 
  • She loves crafts.
  • She likes to make jewelry.
  • Her beauty takes my breath away.
  • My love for food doesn't bother her.
  • Her blushing makes me smile.
  • She has a big heart. 
  • She loves cats like I do.
  • She isn't afraid to apologize. 
  • She really does listen to conversations.
  • Her loyalty is unwavering.
  • Kids love her and she loves kids.
  • When she says I love you I know she isn't just saying it.
  • She likes to try new things.
  • Taking risks is something she doesn't mind doing.
  • She likes taking care of people.
  • Her beauty is captivating.
  • Her body is gorgeous.








Days of Lists: Daily







Rituals that I do most daily:

  •  Pray
  • Some kind of cardio work out. I mostly do running or jump rope.
  • Read my Bible.
  • Sip hot water with lemon. This detox my body and helps keep me from getting colds.
  • Try to help someone somehow
  • Enjoy something about the outside.
  • Make a grateful list each day
  • Look for something to learn

Monday, June 2, 2014

Days of Lists: In a Box




I have several of these actual buildings!



Things I collect:

  • JcPenny's Snowglobes
  • Christmas village pieces
  • Vinyl Records 
  • Christmas ornaments

I don't collect a lot of things. I don't like the clutter because it messes with my mind. If I do collect something like above it's easy to store and put out of sight until it's time to use it.

Days of Lists: Dear Santa






On my wishlist to the Ultimate Santa:

  • DVC Memembership
  • A boat
  • A pontoon
  • A new Fossil Wallet
  • Oh and annual pass-holder to Disney
  • Two Kitty Mansions. (I love these!)
  • A new leather jacket
  • New sunglasses
  • New watch
  • New tennis shoes
  • New punchbag
  • iPhone
  • New underwear
  • New office supplies
  • iTunes gift card

Days of Lists: These are a Few

... Of My Favorite Things




  • +Jessica 
  • Avary
  • Cats
  • My family
  • My friends
  • My computer
  • Food
  • Alabama Athletics
  • Christmas
  • Music
  • Hair gel
  • Dancing
  • Sleeping
  • Taking care of people
  • Reading
  • Working out
  • Driving
  • Learning

Days of Lists: And the Winner Is...



What would I do if I won the lottery or $1,000,000,000,000.00:

  1. I would become a Disney Vacation Club member. (This is on my wishlist)
  2. I would buy a motorboat or a pontoon boat.
  3. Get my grandmother a real house not a mobile home.
  4. Invest a lot of it.
  5. Open my own computer repair company.
  6. Own my own Franchise of Zaxby's.
  7. Buy a vacation home
  8. Go on a cruise.

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Days of Lists: Last Friday Night








I am not a party animal for the weekend. My weekends involve sleep. So my plans for the weekend are:

  • Help grandma look for a place to live.
  • Wash my car
  • Help Grandma look at a new car.
  • Take Grandma shopping
  • Do some personal shopping
  • Make a few plans

Monday, May 26, 2014

Days of Lists: So You're Going to Suffer but Be Very Happy About It









That pretty much sums up what my past has been like so why not let that be my future as well?
So what am I looking forward to?

  • Being with her every single day.
  • Dancing with Avary on beds and couches.
  • Starting my dream job more in depth. 
  • Going to the river.
  • Spending more time with old friends.
  • Traveling the world.
  • Returning to Disney World this time with Avary
  • Learning to cook more dishes
  • Christmas!
  • Getting a new hat.
  • Going grocery shopping for my own kitchen.

Monday, May 19, 2014

Days of Lists: 20 Things about Me

  1. I tend to eat breakfast food at night.
  2. I like to paint.
  3. I have modeled some before.
  4. I like blistex better than carmex 
  5. I prefer cats over dogs
  6. My wallet is always by fossil it has been since I was in the 7th grade and a girl that liked it gave it to me. Apparently I broke her heart.
  7. It's a guaranteed fact I will always spend over $20 at any food place including McDonald's.
  8. I work out every day. Sometimes I will wake up in the middle of sleep go work out and then go back to bed.
  9. I still drive the through the neighborhood where I grew up in Tuscaloosa.
  10. Christmas is more than just presents to me and the Christmas season starts the day after Halloween.
  11. I was a cheerleader. Along with Chris and Frankie. But unlike them I was one during basketball season.
  12. I wear a abstinence ring.
  13. I am weird about my coffee mugs.
  14. I only wear Calvin Klein and Nike socks. 
  15. I iron all of my pants except work out pants. 
  16. I like doing laundry and cleaning the bathtub.
  17. I organize my sock drawer. It used to get on my nerves when my mom threw them all in a drawer. 
  18. I can lift my own body weight 8 feet in less than 5 secs.
  19. I can play 5 different instruments and I had voice lessons as a child.
  20. I miss being in high school. 

Friday, May 2, 2014

As a Dog







When I don't feel good during the winter I put on my dinosaur pajamas. I am not kidding I got them online about a year ago. Dinosaur Fleece Footed Pajamas are my favorite during the winter. During the summer I wear regular work out pants when I don't feel good. Or sometimes I just wear my underwear.

I am a true man when it comes to not feeling good. I milk it for all it's worth. I am willing to admit that though. I am also pretty picky about the products I use as well. I know I am a terrible patient. But once again I will admit it.

Think of me like Sheldon Cooper when he is sick. I love Vicks rubbed on my chest and all around just to be taken care of when I'm sick. I don't mind going to the doctor when I'm sick. I treat myself like a kid if I go to the doctor I treat myself afterwards for a reward.

When I'm sick I love soup, not broth. I have to have meat even with a sore throat. Panera Bread is heaven for me anyhow but going when I am sick is amazing plus right now it's only a 10 minute walk from my house. But I can get soup, tea, a sandwich, and a chunk of bread. They also have mac and cheese which is really good.

Hot tea is a must for me all the time but is crucial when I am not feeling well. My mom used to give me hot tea all the time when I was sick. She said it would help me and she was right.

What do I like to do? Sleep. If I am awake I am usually watching tv and that's about it.

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Ring Challenge

1. What phone do you have? 

 Samsung Galaxy s5

2. What phone do you want if different from current?

 iPhone 5s

3. What is your background/lockscreen?

Avary and me

4. What is your ringtone?

You've Got A Friend in Me

 5. Text tone?

"Hit Me with a Text" - lyric line from Text by Mann

 6. Last picture you took?

 Today for Jessica

 7. Last picture you saved?

 The picture Jessica took

 8. Favorite App?

Facebook

 9. Most used app if different from favorite?

 Not different

 10. Last downloaded app?

 Dropbox

 11. Who texts you the most?

 Tina, everyone else messages me on Facebook.

 12. Who calls you the most?

 Tina since I'm a minutes plan

 13. Random neat feature of your phone?

 I don't know. Not fond of this phone.

 14. What do you hate about your phone?

 How big it is

 15. What do you love about it?

 It gets the job done.

16. Do you use a case/cover?

 I do.

17. What does your case/cover look like?

Super boring white or black.

18. How often do you change cases?

Every six months.

19. How often do you change you background/lockscreen?

Every month

20. How often do you change your ringtone/text tone?

Rarely

21. Who is in your favorites?

Tina, Ridge, Chris, and my grandparents

22. What is the next event on your calendar?

My cousin's birth on the 17th of May

 23. Do you use any accessories?

Yes

24. Which ones?

Bluetooth

25. Do you use a signature in your text? If so, what is it?

I don't

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Her

Even though I doubt I will ever eat Skittles or M&Ms with my girlfriend she is amazing.

I never thought I would find someone that changes my perspective on the world and really makes me think. It's nice to have someone who will really talk to you. Not about a game, show, or how you feel about each other, but really talk.

We spend hours talking and cuddling each night. Cuddling is a weird thing for both of us since neither of us like clingy people. We make it work.

I have so much fun talking to her. I really like it when she just talks. It makes me smile reading what she has to say. Teasing her is also fun because she gets so shy.

I'll do a more in depth later. I really just wanted to make her smile.

Monday, April 14, 2014

Charlie Tango and Top Gun

I am not entirely Christian Grey. I have a Christian Grey in my life, but that's beside the point at the moment.

What is there to say about me? I was a huge mama's boys until high school and then I became a rebel in school. I hid my grades from my friends. Why? Because had a bad reputation. I was a jock. I was suppose to be dumb. My best friend was in my grade even though he was younger than me. He skipped three grades so of course he didn't have to hide that he was excellent at everything he did (and still does.)

I liked going home after practice and playing with my siblings. My mom would always tell me that I couldn't live two lives. I told her I was Batman I could do anything. She would sigh and move on to the next thing about changing my life for the better.

My dad is a drug addict and probably a dealer if I am going to be honest with myself. My grandpa was one as well, so was my uncle. I am glad that my grandma divorced him and moved onto someone who loves her for her even if they don't have a lot in their lives.

I have always fought with my dad. As a kid he would beat me if I asked him to stop. So I gave up talking to him. My older brother kept on trying and he would end up with huge bruises. My mom separated from him but she never divorced him.

Giles, my older brother, finally got fed up with our family and left for the Air Force. He was deployed almost immediately after his training. He would write letters and call and for the first time in my life I could hear and see how happy he was. He told me that he felt like God lead him to get away. He told me that he couldn't wait for me to join him. He said we would never serve together but that we would be joined in the Need for Speed. However, he was killed during his deployment. I lost interest in joining after that.

His death crushed my mother. I think on some level it crushed my dad because he became so much more violent after Giles's death. I have Giles's flag on mantel. I look at it as reminder that somewhere he is speeding above me telling me that flying that high gives him a hard on.

I do have my pilot license for him and the movie Top Gun. We would all pile up at my house and watch it over and over. My mom finally got me a pair of aviator sunglasses and they are the same ones I still wear to this day. Why? Because she is another one looking down at me from Heaven.

I have four people that watch me all the time from Heaven. Giles would be the first one. Then there is my mom, my sister, and my baby brother.

My mom was my rock. She made everything better even though we didn't have a lot. With her moving out and in with dad so many times trying to make things work with him that she lost a lot of things. She was always so cheerful around holidays. She would sing all the time. She loved music and decorating.

My sister, Sapphire (yes her real name she went by Phire though) was barely 10 months younger than me. She was my twin and my shadow. She was loud and carefree. She loved Disney and she loved Peter Pan. She was a cheerleader and she loved being tossed into the air and spinning. It gave her the feeling of being with Peter Pan.

And my baby brother Augustine, always made me laugh. He was an unplanned baby. He loved it when we all came home from school. He would show us his macaroni glued to the paper plate that he had made in pre school that day.

As I said my dad got more violent after Giles's death. And my mom was trying to escape one of his rages of hate and drunkenness. It was raining and thundering and she lost control of the car. It killed her and my siblings. I had stayed with a friend because of the weather on her request.

I tried saving my dad. I would save him and it didn't work. He would end up pissed at me. He started making sure I got hurt. I ended up with more knives scars than I did when I cut. He didn't care how badly I got hurt. He can't stop. During one of his drunk rages after their funerals I followed him and I managed to get shot instead of him. I woke up in the hospital alone. I figured that I wasn't worth much to anyone.

It wasn't long after that I started trying to take my own life. I cut deep and wide. I ended up in the hospital thanks to my best friend who finally said he had enough of me trying to kill myself when I swallowed pills one night. It wasn't just losing them. It was me trying to get away from my dad.

Chris will always be my best friend. Even if he wasn't going through a great time in his life, he saved mine. He told me that I had more potential than a street fighter and a cutter.

I am a master graduate of Georgia Tech in two years and I have a house. I have a stable life. It gets better each day. I just pray God knows how badly I want to get to Heaven.