Being Happy when I have a Million Reasons Not to Be

 

There two cousins that I get along with the most: Sean and Ridge. If it is bad it has happened to us. Between the three of us there has been several shot wounds, self mutilation, 179 bones broke, a child murdered, told unable to have children, abused, we have all had our parents killed, and we have had all our share of relationship trouble.

One thing that the three of us pride ourselves on (and warning this may offend some) not a single one of us take a single pill to keep us in high spirits. Ridge has watched her twin get tortured, lost her for four years, had a child get murdered, went through a miscarriage, she has had hot grease poured down her throat, has has been stabbed and cut herself. Does she take a depression pill? Nope.

I have lost my entire my family. My dad ran off. My dad got me shot. Granted I jumped in front of him but I did. I watched him give himself over to drugs. I watch my grandparents get done wrong by my dad and his brother. I watched my aunt die. I watched my uncle get killed doing what my dad did. I am watching my grandma give up on life instead of fighting because she is scared to be alone. The woman who once told me I was never alone as long as I had God. Don't become a hypocrite.

Sean fell from a five storie building breaking every bone in his body almost. He watched everything thing that Ridge went through. He had to deal with the fact that his baby brother wasn't following a great path. He watched his sisters make irresponsible decision and people blame because he was the man of the house since my uncle skip town. People blame for leaving them to deal with their own problems.

The reason people shake their heads at us? We are happy without pills. Do we get high off something else? Sort of but we don't smoke. Well Sean sometimes smokes a cigar but his wife would kill him right now if he did more that. Trust me the three of us are very dangerous when you get us all going against the same thing. We have this thing called happiness that we find all situation.

We do not like to be labeled a victim. We hate it with a great passion in fact because that means pity. In the words of Eckhart Tolle:

When you complain, you make yourself the victim. Leave the situation, change the situation, or accept it.

We talk situation out, leave, change it or many times accept it.

The three of us are good about moving on, because that's what we have done all of our lives. So how do we stay happy? Twelve simple things.

 1. We express gratitude for what we have. Seriously the number one thing that we are all certain give gratitude for is the family we have. We have a lot to be thankful for in our lives. If we aren't thankful for what we already have, will have a hard time ever being happy.

2. Cultivate Optimism is something we have. We see our lives full of endless opportunities especially in trying times. Heck Sean and I have made several ways to help our situation right now.

3. Learning to forgive is something we actually have to work on daily. We still work on it. Many times we learn to feel nothing towards these people which is in fact worse.

4. We got for smart thrills in our lives. Sure we don't always make the best decisions but we seek enough to get our hearts pounding and making a situation better (sometimes) and of course we protect our family like nobody's business.

5. We live in the now instead of the past. People are happier when engaged in what they are doing as compared to when they lack concentration. From research, it has been discovered that people spend as much as 45% of their working hours in mind wondering.

6. We are very sure ourselves. We think it might be a McLachlan. We get very sure of ourselves when you tick us off or dare us or threaten us. When a person doubts their judgement, they are prone to a variety of psychological challenges like low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, and mood swings. Not us.

7. We move every day. When you are happy, there is a higher possibility that you will engage in activities that promotes your health. Findings from a recent study performed by the American Psychological Association reveals that depression across all ages is significantly reduced by exercise. Trust me I can over do it easily because throwing heavy metal up and down gets me get the bad energy out of me.

8. We surround ourselves with people who are happy also. It took me a long time to learn the significance of this. But I can say it is very true. You have to surround yourselves with people who believe in you.

9. We do act of kindness. A pet peeve of mine is people who don't open doors. I don't care if it is another guy opening the door behind me I will hold it open. Kindness spreads kindness. Talking about kindness doesn't.

10. Sleep is something we all enjoy. We savor it for all it's glory but is that all we do? Oh no! We have lives. We move we get out. We just grin when people say sit down. You won't see us sit until around 9 PM because we have grown our bodies to accustom to that.

11. We have faith. Sure if you don't believe in God go ahead and mediate on something else. I am not holding a gun to your head and telling to believe in God. We have our faith in God. We use the strengths and abilities that God gave us.

12. We don't over think and we create flow situation. We get really into what we are doing that we don't notice the outside world. We don't over think things either. We are straight cut people.

This is how we still grin without doing something self destruction. Ridge laughs when people ask if she on a lot of medication. Sean will flip you off. I just shake my head no. We have God and each other.

Most Magical Thing In the World

Now that you have a family where are you off to? To Walt Disney World with my Family!

I have been, my daughter and my future wife have not. Where are we going Disney World! I have been as a kid and I went the last two times that my cousin has went. So my excitement is building more and more each day.

I like many other fellow Disney goers know just long how it takes to prepare for a Disney trip. I am preparing for my little family's first Disney trip. I have two very excited girls. They squeal randomly. Avary will do a wiggle dance when she thinks about packing even.

We have a Disney Queen in our present and she is awesome at Disney trips. This girl has went to Disney about 50 times as a vacation and is just 23. Right now she is working there "helping" the characters. She has about 6 or 7 Disney binders with different kinds of information. She is trying to get certification as a Disney travel agent. This girl is going to be amazing at it too.

It's because of this girl that my family gets to go to Disney World. She is insisting to take us for free. She said that she loves getting to see people's reaction to their first Disney trip. And since my future wife and my daughter are going on their first trip Hunter is going to have double the fun. Disney should pay this girl. She takes them to Disney then makes them hooked and they go back and back.

I am learning a lot from her and I have started planning. I am purchasing a lot of supplies to make planner. I going to Office Depot tomorrow to start our planner. I know my future wife will be proud.

My world land for this project can be found HERE.

We Are Family

As I wrote in my last post, Jessica, Avary and myself are all a family now. And we aren't boring people so why do boring things all the time? That's just conforming to society's idea of us having to be like the Jones and the Cleavers. No thanks. So here are some ideas I have found and come up with for us to have amazing family time.


Backwards Supper - Wear your clothes backward because nothing is normal this night! We are going to eat under the table, have dessert first, eat the other side of the utensils, eat on the back of the dinnerware, etc. I know we will all of it and that's what makes memories is funky out there things.

Music Making - Shake, shake, rattle rattle, if you have a headache stay away from our house this night. We are going to be making our own musical instruments and then jamming out and keeping the beat with real music. Don't forget dancing. Wiggle it all out.

Redneck Slip n Slide and Rain Shower - Tarp, dish washing detergent, and water? Things are about to get slippery! I love doing this. But I have also seen ideas for taking PVC pipes and making a ton different sprinkler ideas. Water park in our backyard? I think so.

Who Was Murdered Here? - Chalk and the driveway, need I say more? Outlining each other. Hopscotch, drawing, four squares etc. Possibilities are endless.

Meatballs on the Floor - Table cloth on the floor and a pile of spaghetti, say what? Well at this McLachlan house we are going to eat spaghetti on the floor with no utensils. Just use your mouth and make a mess.

Matilda - Eat chocolate, roll around on the floor, roller skate and blade through the house, hoola hoop, and read. I think our household can handle this. I do believe we can and while we are at why not watch the movie and read the book too.

Dollar Date - Dollar Store days! Pick a theme and buy stuff with that theme. Fun times discovering new things in the dollar store.

Glow On - Glow party, glow sticks are the only light this night! Yep there will be tons of popping and breaking and shaking in our house that night. Glow sticks make for a lot of fun. Plus they are super cheap if you look in the right places for them.

Camping... Indoors - Too hot? Don't like bugs? Yep roll out that sleeping bag in the living room and make the smores in the microwave! Plus we can do this while it's raining or a thunderstorm and tell ghost stories.

Camping For Real - I only go camping during the fall. I think it's because my mom only liked to go during the fall. It's so peaceful except when you hear the whistles and cheering coming from the campers watching the football games. I love warming up chili on a camp stove while sitting around a fire.

Funny Face Horse - The game is just like the game you play on a basketball court. One person shoots and the next person has to make the same shot. If they miss the shot then they are “H” and the game continues until someone is “H-O-R-S-E” and that person has lost, In this game, the first person is going to make a funny face. The next person tries to make the same funny face. The referee decides if the second person matched the face or not. If not… then “H”.

Dino Night - Dinosaur movies - Dinosaur or Land Before Time. Fossil cookies, dancing to Walk the Dinosaur, We can always dress up like the Flintstones as well. Who doesn't want to pretend to be a cave person?

I have many more ideas, these are just a few I loved the most. Jessica and I are going to get parents of the year if I have anything to do about it.

One Little Heartbeat At A Time

Did I have doubts? Of course. But I knew that God was doing this for a reason. Things like this didn't just come up back to back for nothing. God knew what he was doing in my life and I will be forever grateful for him giving me the blessings He has this year.

First I knew that I may have a situation where I would have to step in and adopt my sister. I was her Godfather. So I had been prepared to take over if I needed to do so but I was never expecting to actually have to put that into action.

After countless hours of social worker meetings, talking to lawyers, child services and going over finances, Avary is my daughter completely.

I was very nervous about the home study, but I just prayed and God was looking out for me. Having to write my autobiography was nerve wrecking enough, but the other things such as having to get a physical (to see if you have a normal life expectancy and normal mental health. Any prior mental issues could cause problems. Apparently being confused a lot isn't a big deal. ), personal interviews (the view to see if you live in a stable environment and how you handle situations) these were also the longest process because it's not just one interview and they are not always announced, then the criminal background check, financial Statements (financial records are reviewed by the social worker conducting the home study and they include annual income, savings, liabilities or debt, and overall net worth) and they went over my insurance and what insurance I plan on getting for Avary.

It was a long a tedious process but knowing that I go to sleep at night knowing that Avary completely safe the rest of her life makes it worth the process.

People have asked what the costs of the process was and I won't lie it was very costly. The home studies range themselves from $500 to $3000. Mine was in between those. And there will be post studies as well. Erica helped me get the best lawyer though so there are no loop holes.

As for a mother for Avary? Jessica will do just fine. Those two are so much like each other it's a wonder that Avary didn't come out of her. It is priceless. With those two my world is complete and I feel like I am sitting on a million dollars.

Yes in the future we plan to adopt more and hopefully have our own. As long as God is the center of what we do then who can be against us and win?

Gotta Get That Boom Boom

My grandma had us all over for the Fourth today. She had made my cousins put together a playlist. Let's just say things this morning at my grandmother's pool party was wild.

Ever seen a five year old drop it low? I can officially say I have. Bad part? She's mine. I know I was glaring at her mother Tina with a fierce look.

My family are not the best role models. We have pole dancers (no not strippers), Well we did have a stripper, we have had flashers, and exotic dancers. So Avary comes by it naturally. It was just shocking.

Though we did leave when the song I'm in Luv with a Stripper. Well I made Avary leave. I knew how crazy and how funny my cousins would be.

I know it will be something tonight. Only my family.

Days of Lists: Do It Myself

Future Do It Myself Things

• Bottle cap backsplash a sink. Perhaps I could do that in Miss Up's library bathroom.
• Make a permanent Tictacto area for Avary and Jessica at the new house with painted stones
• Make an in the ground permanent fire pit at the house.
• Make a moveable palette table for outside.
• Make a hidden cooler for the backyard patio.
• Set up the home generator for storms and power outages
• Build a "Free" library at the end of our driveway for Jessica to easily swap books with our friends. And Avary too
• Make trash can look like R2 D2

Shhh Quiet People Are Reading

If You Give a Mouse a Cookie 

I loved this book. This was my snack time book. I always wanted cookies and milk when it was read to me. I still like to have them when reading it.

Rose Petal Place

 

I know they are girl books but I loved it when my mom would read these to me and my sister. I liked the bad spider's sidekick Horace.  

The Get Along Gang

I loved the Get Along Gang books but this was my favorite. I always thought the cry baby reminded me of my sister. She used to get so mad at that.

Mrs. Pac Man

I don't know why I loved this book so much either. I was really crazy about it though. I think it was because we had an Atari and it was the female with a baby. Apparently I have always had baby fever.

Pound Puppies

I think looking back at the books I liked this is why I like to rescue animals from the pound. All because of a book and tv series. Now I have a reason to why I have an obsession.


Double Trouble in Walla Walla

My whole family still enjoys this book. I was so excited when I seen Ridge had it and I loved reading it to my nieces and nephews. Get ready for some crazy words!


I couldn't find links to them.

My Doctor Bag Book
My Picnic Basket Book
My Lunchbox Book
My Travel Bag Book

I wore these books out bad

Best Thing This Week

Our house.

Yes our house, not my house. I never thought I would have someone that I love like I do to spend the rest of my life in the house above. And yes that's our house. It makes me grin like a school girl seeing a shirtless (or pantless guy for some of them) knowing that I get to spend the rest of my life with her.

We have started talking about how to decorate the inside already. We aren't going to try and do this alone. We have the support and love our family and friends. They give us inspiration and advice of how to do things. We appreciate suggestions just not being bossed around. We won't tolerate that.

I was scared to death about showing the house to her the first time. I was so scared she wouldn't like it. I started out showing her the floor plan and then our friend took a picture of the outside and sent it to her. I asked her if she liked it. She told me she didn't like it. She loved it instead. We both love the Victorian/Gothic feel to our house. And though it might be big, it is still quaint enough for us.

Being inside the house with just a shell gives us an idea of what we want in it for our family. And though we have hesitation of certain materials because of our babies and children we have agree we can go back and change certain things if they don't work out for us. We both have some hesitations with the house because we need to grow into the house but I have no difficulty believing that we will grow into it very quickly.

So the best thing to happen to me this week is starting to decorate our house.

Charlie Tango and Top Gun

I am not entirely Christian Grey. I have a Christian Grey in my life, but that's beside the point at the moment.

What is there to say about me? I was a huge mama's boys until high school and then I became a rebel in school. I hid my grades from my friends. Why? Because had a bad reputation. I was a jock. I was suppose to be dumb. My best friend was in my grade even though he was younger than me. He skipped three grades so of course he didn't have to hide that he was excellent at everything he did (and still does.)

I liked going home after practice and playing with my siblings. My mom would always tell me that I couldn't live two lives. I told her I was Batman I could do anything. She would sigh and move on to the next thing about changing my life for the better.

My dad is a drug addict and probably a dealer if I am going to be honest with myself. My grandpa was one as well, so was my uncle. I am glad that my grandma divorced him and moved onto someone who loves her for her even if they don't have a lot in their lives.

I have always fought with my dad. As a kid he would beat me if I asked him to stop. So I gave up talking to him. My older brother kept on trying and he would end up with huge bruises. My mom separated from him but she never divorced him.

Giles, my older brother, finally got fed up with our family and left for the Air Force. He was deployed almost immediately after his training. He would write letters and call and for the first time in my life I could hear and see how happy he was. He told me that he felt like God lead him to get away. He told me that he couldn't wait for me to join him. He said we would never serve together but that we would be joined in the Need for Speed. However, he was killed during his deployment. I lost interest in joining after that.

His death crushed my mother. I think on some level it crushed my dad because he became so much more violent after Giles's death. I have Giles's flag on mantel. I look at it as reminder that somewhere he is speeding above me telling me that flying that high gives him a hard on.

I do have my pilot license for him and the movie Top Gun. We would all pile up at my house and watch it over and over. My mom finally got me a pair of aviator sunglasses and they are the same ones I still wear to this day. Why? Because she is another one looking down at me from Heaven.

I have four people that watch me all the time from Heaven. Giles would be the first one. Then there is my mom, my sister, and my baby brother.

My mom was my rock. She made everything better even though we didn't have a lot. With her moving out and in with dad so many times trying to make things work with him that she lost a lot of things. She was always so cheerful around holidays. She would sing all the time. She loved music and decorating.

My sister, Sapphire (yes her real name she went by Phire though) was barely 10 months younger than me. She was my twin and my shadow. She was loud and carefree. She loved Disney and she loved Peter Pan. She was a cheerleader and she loved being tossed into the air and spinning. It gave her the feeling of being with Peter Pan.

And my baby brother Augustine, always made me laugh. He was an unplanned baby. He loved it when we all came home from school. He would show us his macaroni glued to the paper plate that he had made in pre school that day.

As I said my dad got more violent after Giles's death. And my mom was trying to escape one of his rages of hate and drunkenness. It was raining and thundering and she lost control of the car. It killed her and my siblings. I had stayed with a friend because of the weather on her request.

I tried saving my dad. I would save him and it didn't work. He would end up pissed at me. He started making sure I got hurt. I ended up with more knives scars than I did when I cut. He didn't care how badly I got hurt. He can't stop. During one of his drunk rages after their funerals I followed him and I managed to get shot instead of him. I woke up in the hospital alone. I figured that I wasn't worth much to anyone.

It wasn't long after that I started trying to take my own life. I cut deep and wide. I ended up in the hospital thanks to my best friend who finally said he had enough of me trying to kill myself when I swallowed pills one night. It wasn't just losing them. It was me trying to get away from my dad.

Chris will always be my best friend. Even if he wasn't going through a great time in his life, he saved mine. He told me that I had more potential than a street fighter and a cutter.

I am a master graduate of Georgia Tech in two years and I have a house. I have a stable life. It gets better each day. I just pray God knows how badly I want to get to Heaven.